Smart Elder Orphans Prepare for Aging Stages

By Carol Marak, Aging Advocate and Senior Care Contributor (original at Huffington Post)

This article about “Elder Orphans” is the second in a series, describing how to prepare for aging stages by first knowing what they are. If you missed the first article, here’s your chance.

I got interested in creating and sharing my own plan with Huffington Post readers after reading umpteen studies of senior isolation and how the harmful effects devastate our mental and physical health. Living alone suits me but isolation certainly does not. That’s why at age 64, I think a lot about my latter years. But doing that is a challenge, and even the renown geriatrician, Dr. Bill Thomas, admits to the misconceptions of aging.

Humans have a limited ability to predict accurately or even imagine the needs of their future self. That’s especially true when the future has scary possibilities.[EDITOR: See my collection of Famous False Predictions.]

However, if I don’t want to be stuck in suburbia away from social connections, an amped-up imagination is needed, with helpful tips from readers like you. 

Prepare for Aging Stages

Years ago, I helped my parents with elder care, and I remember that it’s not an isolated effort. As individuals grow older, they meet bumps along the way that adds pressures on loved ones. In our case, mom and dad lived with chronic health problems like Alzheimer’s and heart disease, which both resulted in functional disability.

To better understand my future needs, I turned to Dr. Mark Frankel, president and CEO of Taking Care Inc. He developed a five-stage framework for aging that helps caregivers navigate the eldercare system before it’s needed. Frankel’s information will help you and me understand the issues and prepare for fundamental needs along the long-term care continuum. Tom Burke, senior director of American Health Care Association, verifies the need,

There is not a lack of information about aging issues, but there is a lack of knowledge on the part of the consumer about dealing with aging at various stages.

If we plan well, we will:

• have healthier future by taking better care of ourselves
• be ready financially by knowing the costs of long-term care and how to pay for them; and
• stay in charge of our health care decisions by putting in place our legal documents

Here is a list of the five stages. It gives an overview of what to expect as one grows older. But know people age differently, depending upon various factors. In later articles, I plan to delve deeper into each as I strategize for myself. I need to learn the essential needs and issues first, the ones that I face later in life–that’s the reason for explaining the stages. I have to know what I face down the road, right? Without knowing what aging looks like, any plan is futile.

Stage 1 – Independence

Early on, seniors are self-sufficient. We can manage chronic health problems and disabilities pretty well and don’t need special help from loved ones. In this stage, look at your health, types of care that may be needed later, the costs of paying for them, how to advocate for yourself, and the relevant documents to create.

As AARP says, We prefer to be independent. They advise assessing your place and community, because that will show whether it will support you throughout the other stages.

Stage 2 – Interdependence

Interdependence is the time when an older person turns to others like family, a spouse, or friends for help. If you live alone, this phase is tricky. Frankel says, “Seniors often see formal caregivers as a beginning in the decline in their independence,” and he advises people to start searching for an independent living that features individual suites, meal plans, cleaning services & laundry, and 24-hour security.

As I investigate this phase, I’ll research other ways to provide security, meal plans, cleaning, etc.

Stage 3 – Dependence

Older adults next become more dependent on others for help with activities of daily living. These activities include meal preparation, cleaning, shopping, transportation, and possibly help with dressing, bathing, and grooming.

I’ll look closely at the different types of care options and hopefully go beyond the tried and true ones we typically choose. I want to discuss what other countries do to handle these issues as well. Senior living trends change rapidly so let’s discuss them. I need your help to shed light on newer trends. What other choices do older people enjoy globally?

Stage 4 – Crisis Management

This is the time that Frankel says that the health and personal care needs of an older person can outstrip the family’s ability to help. Formal home care may be insufficient or too costly, keeping the family in crisis management.

I hope to avoid this stage altogether. But if I’m still around, I’ll move to Oregon. On a serious note, what options do we want? Let’s shake things up a bit and think outside the box.

Stage 5 – Institutional Care

Frankel’s last stage occurs when the older person must move to a nursing home or hospice, where skilled nursing care and extensive personal care help a person live with dignity. Let’s look at other possibilities. What do you say? Are you with me on this? I need your help seeing all options before moving ahead with my plan.

NCOA, n4a, and United Healthcare say that the professionals who support older adults have a grim view of our preparation. Only 10% of the experts think we’re well-prepared to age, while 42% of us (older Americans) think we are ready. If the experts are right, we better fix the discrepancy. I’ll do my part, but I need your help. Please join the conversation [here below or on Huffington Post]. And as the discussion grows, let’s start a revolution or, at least, start a Facebook page. I know Dr. Bill Thomas will join in; heck, he’s all over the task to disrupt aging. How about you?

About the Author

Carol Marak, Aging Advocate and Editor at Seniorcare.com is an experienced family caregiver and writes about aging issues, senior care concerns, and the family’s role throughout the journey. Carol earned a Fundamentals of Gerontology Certificate from the USC Davis School of Gerontology and is passionate about ending society’s barriers that obstruct aging with dignity. Her work appears in senior health outlets. Follow her on Twitter at @Carebuzz and @SeniorCareQuest.